@Mats Sjöberg I'm on Uberspace.de - it's a shared host but with a lot of extras. But they only allow 20 simultaneous connections to the mysql db. This should be enough, right?
Sounds like it should be enough, but hard to know... If you are running a recent version of Friendica (recently pulled from git master) you could try disabling the StatusNet conversation completion. That process is a bit heavy. You can do that by adding this line to your .htconfig.php (note the dot-file, there's also one without the dot!): $a->config['system']['ostatus_poll_interval'] = -1;